Akashma Online News

By Marivel Guzman

Light rail train – Through my window series. LIfe is moving away, or life goes. Two different perspectives of reality. Sacramento, Calif. February 18, 2018. (Photo/Marivel Guzman)

I see that train passing by in front of my window several times a day and every time I wonder, “what if I take a train and just ride it until the end?” With no stops, no stress of worries left behind, with nothing to take my attention from the thrill of the ride.

People move around in circles; Homeless have no way to go so they keep walking until night fall. They have no sense of belonging but looking to the end.

“Homeless in my city” Homelessness is equal opportunity taker where we see young and old, black and white, and Interesting enough we see rich and poor in this pool of misery. Sacramento, Calif. December 18, 2017. (Photo/Marivel Guzman)

On the other hand the rest of us are plugged into a matrix that disconnect our consciousness from reality. This matrix keeps us in survival mode but I’m not talking about the flight instinct we sentients beings have but a pure survival mode, where the old 8 to 5 keeps us busy eating to work-sleeping to rest- working to eat in a perpetual circle.

After the last shooting in Florida we found ourselves trying to make sense of the event. We blame the authorities, we blame the people, we blame the National Rifle Association, we blame Donald Trump and his foolishness to deliver a kind apology that resemble to the one Barrack Obama delivered to the country after another mass shooting.

I think I should apologize to friends for allowing myself to be drawn into the circle of discord arguing policies that niether I like or control. I want to say that I’m very opinionated and this gift has given me ‘hard’ time in my present reality—Time to back up a little bit.

We all are being part of the Truman show—There is a constant battle between perception and reality. The main character, Truman Burbank, lives in a bogus world, which is all he knows and believes to be reality—-but we are unwilling participants of the show. Can we for a moment stop and think and realize that there are bigger players on top of the pyramid who care less who live of dies. A real puppeteer who is pulling the strings.
It does come to my mind a movie I watched few years ago, “Rat Race,” take an hour and watch the movie and come back the show, actually watch also “The Truman Show,” both movies give a glimpse of our matrix.

Sometimes I think too much and some will say that I’m just a drop in the ocean who can not change the Status Quo, what do you think.

Few years back a wrote a little piece called piece in facebook as a note, which tells about myself and why I’m peace activist. Indeed I’m in love reflects my passion for humanity. Peace activism at least for me is all volunteer work born from the heart.

How much do we know about our next door neighbor or how much we know about the situations in other communities, cities and other countries. We do not have time to think about them. Or. simply we do not have energy to care. Personally I do not know about my neighbors, it is a sad reality. I do not even know the lives of the people who share my apartment and that is still sadder.

I have to pull myself from all the clatter and remember that I’m in my present reality to speak for Palestine. I become journalist to write about Palestine and that task keeps me grounded. I think of myself as lonely warrior a voice from the cyber space in a world full of chaos. (I wrote “A voice from the cyber space,” on 2007 and it was published by Veterans Today with all type of grammar mistakes, but I do not care the  article expresses my feelings)

I’m in the social media environment for Palestine and Palestine only and if this journey rewards me or punish me so be it. I do not do it for profits because the cause is sacred for me. If in the future I have to fund an NGO—Presidents and CEOs need money to live—will be for the purpose to help raise the voice for those who can not do it on their own.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m wasting my time doing what I’m doing trapped in a reality that seems meaningless to my dreams. I want to make a difference in this reality but as I learn more about the matrix less it seems to matter the change I want to see. The task seems impossible, unimaginable, paramount to my energy but at the same time I feel energized on the same thought that my minuscule universe represents for the people I touch.

My friend Raja (RIP) wrote those words on a piece I wrote more than 10 years ago “The Opinion Makers” and I like them so much because they express my true self so I will end with Raja Mujtaba’s words.

“The writer is a friend from the Cyber world, a lady of strong commitments and devotion whose heart burns for those who are distressed and are in pain. She is a fighter on moral grounds, her convictions and truth are her only weapons.“ Major Raja Mujtab