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My other half – Akashma poetry


Updated Jan 18, 2020, at 01:30

My Other Half

by Marivel Guzman

Where were you, Love?
I knew you’d come!
I heard your little soft steps,
I felt your fairy wings
dancing to the tune of my breathless hope
I sensed you getting ready for the dance of love

On the sparkles of the rain,
I saw your mist curling in.
I know It was you, who touched my shoulder
When I felt all broken down.
I knew you’d come, It is you,
who saved me from the darkest dream.

Where were you, Love?
I smell the aroma of your shadow
Breathing always next to me.
I knew you’d be,
courting my silhouette
inhaling every drop of my sleep.

Where were you, Love?
I needed your warm presence next to me,
I wanted to hear the whispers of your voice.
I missed your presence in my life.
I tried to forge in another hope,
I tried to call in other names,
but love is not a costume dress, that I can change.

Where were you, Love?
I needed you to come tonight.
The piercing shout of my pain
will keep me awake if you don’t come,
your absence cut right through my soul.

Where are you Love?
I need to embrace your name again,
I want to snuggle up again,
against your heart next to mine.

I knew you come,
I know you missed my voice touching your ear.
I know your life is half without my touch,
I knew you’d come,
I’m feeling warm again tonight. ♥

Love is not love,
if it does not have its other half.

First Published on Oct 5, 2012, at 20:14

Marivel R Guzman © 2012

Akashma Poetry

Marivel Guzman, is an American poet, and fiction writer.
(photo and graphics by Marivel Guzman)

Categories: News

Moon Landing 50th anniversary


By Marivel Guzman

 

School children in a photo opt at the Richard Nixon Library, Fullerton, Cali. April 29, 2019. (Photo/Marivel Guzman)

Richard Nixon Library and Museum’s lobby, at the Moon, landing 50th-anniversary ceremony. photo/Marivel Guzman

day

The Richard Nixon Presidential Library and Museum is celebrating the 50th anniversary of many “things,” including the Moon Landing.

Today the City of Fullerton in partnership with the Richard Nixon Library put together the Moon Landing 50th anniversary exhibits.

One of the perks to be a journalist, I got to visit the exhibits for free- It cost $17 for adults and $11 for children, free for children on a school field trip. In preparation for today’s ceremony, many local schools children attended the library to celebrate today’s historic day.

The library has very interesting exhibits related to the 60s, including the Vietnam War, the 1963 Birmingham riots, the Tet Offensive (1968) between other events from the 60s.

The Library still has the original home, where Richard Nixon born, with its rose garden.

Also, it holds part of the National Archives with 46 million pages of textual records, 3,431 hours of White House tapes, 418,000 photographs, 5,175 hours of video recording available for researchers.

Enjoy the tour! ❤
#MoonLanding #Apollo11 #SaturnIV #RichardNixonExhibits #50thAnniversaryMoon

 

Categories: News

And the band played on–Book Review


And the Band Played on

By Randy Shilts (1987)

Book Review

By Marivel Guzman

 

And the Band Played On, cover book by Randy Shilts

The beginning of the AIDS epidemics creates a blurred line in the history of the United States, nobody, that could have done something to stop the spread of the epidemic did anything of substance, except for their relatively small almost intrusive hand in the political game of the times.

Scientists and the first victims of AIDS will be exonerated by history. The gay community was scared, uninformed and was caught out of the guard, and the scientific community was left to their fortunes to try to stop the disease from disseminating.

I was in nursing school back in 1977 all the way to 1981. In those years the word AIDS did not exist in the pathology book we have to memorize to pass the class. Cancer in those days, it was a new disease being researched, but already making inroads in the life of Mexican women in hospital wards of Mexico.

Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome is the name given to the disease, a shorter and less scary name for a Syndrome that will definitely kill anybody with the virus, which by 1980 was killing ‘gays people’ without having been properly known.

The scientific community of the US and France were in a battle for recognition, both nations top scientific did not really know what they were confronted with.

Shilts 657 pages The Band Played On book indeed did a good job into chronologically recording the juiciest aspects of the gay community with their “bathhouses” and their organizations.

Randy Shilts makes 273 references to Bathhouses all throughout the book and The “Blood-industry,” is repeated only 41 times, blood transfusion(s) is brought out only 67 times, but none of those mentions makes the blood industry to come clean for partaking in the spread of the HIV.

Presently a person with AIDS’s life expectancy is about 78, with medical treatment.

Coincidentally I did my one-year clinical practice in Mocorito, Sinaloa, Mex., which it was known as the town of the gays.

I was the head nurse of the rural hospital in Mocorito Health Center, I do not remember to see troves of gays with Kaposi sarcoma, actually, I do not have any recollection to see cancer cases at all. I do remember, we were running a program to eradicate Tuberculosis and Hepatitis, and for a town with so many gay people, it is strange not having a memory of AIDS cases.

In June 1981, the CDC published a report of five gay men from Los Angeles, Ca., who contracted a life-threatening disease, PCP pneumonia, which was never seen on people with an intact immune system. Also, in July of the same year, published the cases of a rare type of skin cancer that kills young gay people with AIDS, Kaposi’s sarcoma.

I appreciate the dignified pity Shilts dedicated to the gay community victims of AIDS, but I reproach the way he brushes off the blood industry for the spreading of AIDS. Stanford University, the biggest supplier of blood is the main responsible for the spread of the AIDS virus. The scientific community of United States has its big share of guilt, as well of Congress and the federal government.

By the way, Shilts makes so many references of the “bathhouses” all throughout the book, makes me believe he blames the bathhouses for the spreading of the disease.  Shilts makes 201 references to Bathhouses and 72 references to “bathhouse.” This insistence on focusing so many chapters to the gay community as the culprits of the sin of AIDS is unfair.

AIDS being a new disease taking everyone by surprise should have put the media in a state of alert, but also, they fail to give the AIDS epidemic the attention it required.

The earliest press releases by the CDC confirmed that they were already taking measure to tackle the disease, but Reagan did not have any hurry in “tarnishing” his image with the epidemic. Shilts does not make a great effort to call onto the Reagan administration, or Congress into doing more allocating bigger budget for the investigation and treatment of the disease that it was costing so many lives.

I have to give him credit for taking such paramount job into writing the story of so many known guys affected by the disease in its earliest stages. He does fail to do more investigative reporting in other cities, he concentrated his stories in Los Angeles, Miami, and New York, and by lack of imagination, he did not wonder in other towns and cities hospitals.

As an RN nurse and with knowledge of infectious diseases, I know that a disease such as AIDS, it wouldn’t have city lines.

Coincidentally as I write this review, I found a recent article in the New York Times, a self-conscience judgment.

“The New York Times had a spotty record of covering the AIDS epidemic in the early 1980s — and gay culture in general. Times staffers reflect on the paper’s past, and what we can learn from it today.” The New York Times, April 28, 2018.

Shilts makes few allusions to the press of the time, their passivity to cover more aggressively the first instances of the epidemic. That could have been a game changer. If the news were doing their job, perhaps, the Reagan Administration could have done more, perhaps Congress could have made the blood industry to stop cold from distributing “one more once of blood.”

“If AIDS is indeed sexually transmitted, why have there been so few cases?” If scientists were doing the math, they should have known that gays right groups were correct to ask this question. Shilts isn’t preoccupied with investigating the stats of gays affected with the immune syndrome.

I’m very critical of this book narrative, which focuses, it is more emphasizing that gays are the vehicle of the agent of AIDS, rather than shifting the blame to the blood transfusions.

By mid-1982, Dr. Edgar Engleman, Stanford’s immunologist for the blood bank, had already figured out, that the disease could be spread in blood transfusions as well, “By early 1983, three AIDS cases were lying in Stanford University Hospital wards; for all three, their only “risk behavior” was having a blood transfusion in San Francisco,” Shilts said.

This statement was a good “scientific clue,” that blood transfusion should have been halt until further investigation on the cause of the virus was found. Why keep pounding on the idea that AIDS is spread through “Bathhouses.”?

I can understand that Shitls being gay wanted to highlight the life of the gay community in those bathhouses, perhaps, Shilts, the intent was to normalize the idea that gays are human beings like every other individual in American society. At one point on the narration, Shilts relates the funeral of a gay victim of AIDS, where the mother of disease asked the lover out of the service. I only can try to analyze Shilts’s intentions by making gays’ sufferings to resonate with American society.

If Shilts meant to write the tragedy of the gay community from LA, Miami, and NY, he nailed the story, but to have written this 657-page book as a chronological recorder of the evolution of the disease in American gay’s communities, it just does not add up. By the time he wrote “And the Band Played on,” there was plenty of scientific evidence that AIDS was not an only gay disease.

Yes, I agree that he incorporated the political climate of those years and it played perfectly well with his stories of gays sentenced to death. Another scoring point for Shilts is his liberal and literal use of the “word anal.” He feels that is entitled to say what he enjoys as a gay man without having to explain further. Kudos to him on this.

Shilts missed the opportunity to expose the government coverup—an epidemic spreading like wildfire, and the federal government isn’t declaring an emergency, it isn’t allocating millions of dollars for research.  As a journalist and a gay person, Shilts missed the focal point of the spreading of AIDS.

Multi-Center AIDS Cohort Studies by 1982, had already guarantee grant money for research, no mention of that in Shilts’s book.

According to Shilts, The Department of Public Health still had not produced one piece of informational literature on AIDS, he said. But, public records show that the CDC has already published a press release advising the scientific community of the epidemic.

The CDC is the main actor in Shilts’s book, he mentioned the CDS 564 times all through the book, for a 567 pages book, the mentions are a little bit exaggerated. In all credit to the CDS, by June 1981, it has already published a press release, and by May of the same year the MMRW (Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report by the CDC have already confirmed 5 cases of Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia (PCP) among previously healthy young men in Los Angeles (1). All of the men were described as “homosexuals”; two had died. Local clinicians and the Epidemic Intelligence Service (EIS) Officer stationed at the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health, prepared the report and submitted it for MMWR publication in early May 1981.

As an RN, I find the book to lack the scientific sources, to be considered a “breakthrough” literature on AIDS.

If you want to learn about the beginning of AIDS, Inventing the AIDS Virus by Peter H. Duesberg, professor of molecular and cell biology at the University of California at Berkeley, and a pioneer in retrovirus research. His book it is a great read with peer journal references to his studies and an outstanding credible researcher, which articles have appeared in several scientific journals.

Shilts’s The Band Played On, it is a good book, which brings the human side of gays and as a gay journalist, he dared to expose the hypocrisy in politics and the little care they have for the wellbeing of Americans.

AIDS took the lives of hundreds of thousands of innocent people. In the beginning, the “Blood Industry,” which is a multi-billion dollar business refused to throw away their existing batches of blood in their banks.

Even if it was not thoroughly investigated, thousands of patients got infected through blood transfusions.

The blood industry is as guilty as the US government from the AIDS epidemic.

“And the Band Played on” by Randy Shilts (1987) explores thoroughly the beginning of AIDS in the US.

 

 

 

Categories: News

UNRWA free of United States interference


By Marivel Guzman

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Last week the White House stopped its funding to UNRWA, the agencyiin charge of supporting and protecting Palestinians refugees.

At this point is expected that it will continue its mission through personal donations. According to uts official page, UNRWA also receives funding from the European Union and partner organizations.

Skipping the middle man! This could be the best opportunity to sideline the US government, which have been the main obstacle for peace in Palestine—The US Congress also is to blame having funded the Israeli’s military with billions of dollars. This funding have emboldened Israel.

At this moment the future of UNRWA US is unsure. I share their page, but I’m skeptical if the funds can be delivered directly to the occupied territories without official channels. Also taking in consideration that Israel receives the money before is handled to the Palestinian Authority.

UNRWA is a non-profit, that functions as a direct dependent of the UN, which was funded in the same year the agency was funded–In 1949 UNRWA was created with the sole purpose to assist and protect Palestinians dispossessed of their lands, homes and livehood after the partition.

At this point we don’t know what is going to happen to UNRWA. It is true several countries and private organizations also help in its funding, but we need to hear more information from the WH regarding its standing regarding UNRWA—Will the WH allow UNRWA to function without government interference?

“WE PROVIDE ASSISTANCE AND PROTECTION FOR
SOME 5 MILLION PALESTINER EFUGEES,” UNRWA official page

UNRWA Facebook page

 

Congress mass hysteria: Facebook marketplace is not fair game


By Marivel Guzman

Ben Shapiro is a bright mind. I don’t agree with him 51 percent of the time but on this charade of congressanal hearing, I agree; Completely!

In the video I shared bellow, Shapiro is shredding to pieces the “mass charade” of Mark Zuckerberg “testifying in Congress.”

In my opinion, the Mark Zuckerberg Congressional hearing was a circus for mass entertainment. Somehow, Congress is directing the attention away from the orders of President Donald Trump to invade a foreign state bypassing with this UN Security Council. This is another whole issue that I will discuss in another post. I’m

I totally agree that Facebook has the responsibility to protect its user’s data–Not to sell it, not to lend it as the case with Cambridge Analytics, specially because, Cambridge Analytics is a foreign institution. “It is a British political consulting firm,  a corto its own website. Whose parent company SLC Group,” A private British behavioral research and strategic communication company.

What is interesting, if you follow down the rabbit’s hole, you find out that SLC group joins the US State Department.

” Robert Mercer-funded dedicated Cambridge Analytics foreign parent company signs a deal to do propaganda work for State’s Global Engagement Center” says Text fire, at medium.com

According to medium.com, SLC Group was recently awarded a defense contract with the US State’s Department. To my opinion the whole scandal was because US State Department was caught with its pants down due to the leak by Christopher Wylie, “A whistle blower who exposed Cambridge Analytica’s role in a data breach affecting 50 million Facebook users earlier this month, tweeted documents that suggested the firm’s parent company,” said The Washington Post and its Asia&Pacific section of March 28 article, “Whistleblower claims Cambridge Analytica’s partners in India worked on elections, raising privacy fears.”

On the other hand, Facebook as a private business reserves the right to change the internal policies of its organization.

The users are given the tools to change the privacy settings, but nobody takes a day off to read Facebook privacy settings.

Mass hysteria will start when somebody does it and raise hell in his wall then everybody starts to share the “raise hell post,” then people go to change the privacy settings.

Now, regarding Facebook’s practices of gatekeeper of news, that is a whole new issue. Congress should ask the proper questions.

Also, monitoring our political views and sharing that information to parties that will use them against us in a “psychological experiment,” to sway our opinions, it is atrocious, right? But, isn’t that exactly what main Stream Media does? And our own government as well.

News networks chose and pick commentators that are sharp, well-mannered, and well groom into the network’s agenda. The guests are as well leaned to that agenda and to ‘make the audience’ believe they are unbiased, they’ll invite somebody on the other side of the political spectrum, and either, the guests are caught up with questions he/she can not answer with a short response, or the guest will be aggressive re-battled. If the guest is brave enough to make his voice heard, his/her microphone volume is decreased to the point where his voice is inaudible.

The same behavior is used by lobbyists, and politicians campaigns. They all use physiological behavioral strategies to impact the subconscious of the population.

Now, does Facebook have the right to do the same with their users?
The sponsors of Facebook do that job and because of those sponsors is that users have a free platform to share whatever they want to share.

The issue becomes skewed and spooky because Facebook is a global organization and serves a global market. Of course there always will be foreign interference and Adds will flow freely to target audiences. Where is the illegally on that?

If this is so offensive and damaging to our democracy then foreign agencies as AIPAC should be illegal to operate in US soil.

Is Facebook guilty of treason? Then, so is Congress, they take money from foreign entities such AIPAC, which clearly is a foreign agent working in behalf of Israel. It doesn’t matter that Israel is a friend of the US, still is a foreign state.

Or, Is Facebook guilty of violating its own privacy policies? Well, that crime won’t take anybody to jail but certainly can teach us that in a free marketplace everything is free game. Right?

After all we live in a Capitalist system where “supply and demand,” rules the game.

Categories: News

The Mist


The Mist

I feel myself as part of the air, the water, the mountain, the tree, the earth, the fire and the mist. The abstract sensation of not being in a solid state but ether—that is, a ‘something’ that exists everywhere like the Akash that surrounds us all in a phrase, “From above so is bellow”.

This is a reflection of my altered essence that feels like being everywhere; touched but touching, admired but admiring, but also a transparent and diluted substance molded by the strokes of pain that follows everything I touch, everything that I dream.

But, there is also a feeling of being part of the ‘nowhere’, where you don’t see me, but you feel me; like the air. You feel me through my emotions, passions and pains. Everything that transpire from my essence is me. It’s my soul ‘talking’.

But at the end, I’m the mist of the conquered ideals. I have to surrender to justice and equality, and as the mist, I’ll disappear with white and black tones of grainy rebellion. My soul is boiling with tremores of love for humanity, for earth, for truth, justice and peace.

I must dissipate!  ❤️

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By Marivel Guzman

March 12, 2018

Categories: News

A prophet in a strange land; the story of one Hispanic


By Marivel Guzman

 

Back in his younger poetic years, Diego Bonilla, now a professor at Sacramento State University, couldn’t foresee what his passion for the internet would bring to fulfill his dreams as a digital dimensionality event manipulator.

He has worked for more than 20 years building a story of many faces that has brought success to his innovator mind, shaping a new perspective in the field of experimental filmmaking, pedagogy and digital communication.

Sacramento State has yet to recognize such a luminary, a missed opportunity for Sac State to maximize on one of its own faculty member.

Diego Bonilla, was born and raised in Mexico City and he said, his privileged status brought him to the prestigious Syracuse University in New York, where he obtained his doctorate in Media Management, in 2003, winning a doctoral prize in Mass Communications with his dissertation; “The Medium is the Measure of Itself,” he said.

His first book “El Anfitreatro de la Memoria,” (Amphitheater of the Memory)was published on 1995, this book was the beginnings of a long career as a published author. El Anfitreatro de la Memoria is a short book of personal love poetry, which “I rather not revive,” he said.

His career took a dramatic turn when his passion for the Liberal Arts changed for computers, communications and algorithms.

Bonilla is a rather shy person who does not brag about his achievements and prizes, but an internet search unveils his international recognitions as scholar, media innovator, experimental filmmaker, published author and countless international conferences and lecture invitations from around the world.

Bonilla has an extensive repertoire list with publications; including books, online learning tools material, text books, editorial medium presentation, media and computer text used until recently in Ecuador, among his publication you find journals and Film instructional methodology.

Hypermedia is one of his scholarly works, “Developing hypermedia is an absolute passion,” he said.

At age 49, Bonilla is married with a 5-year old daughter and happy with his professional and personal achievements. Five years ago, when his daughter born, he found happiness in life, he said.

According to Bonilla, he changed his career at request of his parents, who convinced him to study Business Administrator, “to manage his artistic career.” This dramatic change from poet to business impacted his passion for poetry and storyteller, he said.

Recently Bonilla’s prototype film “Accidental Occurrence,” was selected as a premier experimental film preview at 12 international festivals, winning “Best Experimental Short Film,” Latin Prizes Festival, at Spain, 2017.

Sac State still haven’t congratulated its brilliant professor, according to Sac State Communication Department Chair Gerry Smith, said “I guess is up to me the chair of the department to communicate to Public Affairs.”

“The department is aware of his accolades and prize and of his success,” Smith said the university is lucky to have him.

Other than receiving a congratulatory email from Sheree Meyer, dean of undergraduate studies, Bonilla has not gotten any recognition from the administration. Although Smith recognizes Bonilla “As a brilliant academic and artist that creates innovative work, which is impressive by any standards,” she did not inform the university public affairs.

There are only two persons working in this type of projects, like the The new Prestidigitador. Native strategies for the creation of hypermedia, and Accidental Occurrence are an innovation in the art of digital manipulation of audio-visual, “Me here at Sac and a professor at MIT,” he said.

I found Bonillas’s “Accidental Occurrence” film at U-Nite, at Crocker Museum, which allows Sac State and students, faculty and staff to showcase their work for one night.

Such luminary shouldn’t be left in the anonymity of a classroom said Walter Yost, Sac State associate professor. “The university should support its faculty especially those who potentially bring good PR,” Yast said.

“Accidental Occurrence,” is a film that projects the dimensionality of an event, Bonilla said. You can program a set of frames in a film and chose which characters, which events you want to play in a story. With the algorithms he invented, he could generate a sequence of 9,000,000 different events with a film of 70 frames, “You’ll never watch the same film,” he said.

He sees himself in 20 years with free time and financial worry-free luxury life to develop more of his projects like this type of experimental film. Until now, he has financed his own projects, “this type of project is out of the university’s budget.

Winning the Mallorca Festival has given him the exposure he was looking for. It is not easy, he summited other projects to dozens of festivals and this time he got lucky, Bonilla said.

Accidental Occurrence was officially for dozen of International festivals among thousands of film submissions, he said.

He is not looking for money with his projects, Bonilla said but the opportunity to innovate the world of communications through the well learn use of computers.

Bonilla enjoys teaching computer and media, he said, teaching brings him peace of mind and his experimental film making technology is a long time passion and pastime that will bring change in the way technology is used, he said.

“He has opened my eyes to new types of films and new ways to think about them,” said Mark Turner, communication major.

For Kelsey Harning, Bonilla has a unique perspective as a professor, “he opens my eyes to new ways of thinking about films,” she appreciates how Bonilla makes them (students) get to be more thoughtful and critical thinkers.

Sac State has missed the opportunity to maximize this brilliant Hispanic computer savvy innovator and Filmmaker, who is a name recognized world wide as scholar and computer genius.

 

Categories: News
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