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Fear and Love
Posted on May 11, 2011 by Marivel Guzman
Fear and Love
Poisoned Mind
Don Miguel Ruiz is an inspiration for me. I was inspired to write this short personal journal departing from his novel “The Mastery of Love”, I expand his thoughts, and sometimes I entangled his ideas with mine, without any attempt to plagiarize his writings, but a simple recount of my personal experience.
Love must be found
At the end of the road, we are just humans in the same journey in life.
Humans used fear to domesticate humans, and our fear increases with each experience of injustice, and without noticing, we become less aware of the damage we are causing to ourselves and to others.
The sense of injustice is the knife that opens a wound in our emotional body and continue to become victims and executioners of our lives.
“Emotional poison is created by our reaction to what we consider injustice.” Some wounds will heal, others will become infected with more and more poison. Once we are full of emotional poison, we have the need to release it, and we practice releasing the poison by sending it to someone else. How we do this? by hooking that other person’s attention.
Take for instance an ordinary couple. For whatever reason the husband is mad, he has a lot of emotional poison from injustice that comes from his wife, when they are not together that poison keeps growing inside of them. When the husband comes home all mad from a full day of injustices or stressful day, the first things he wants to do is to hook her attention because once he hooks her attention all the poison can go to her wife, and he can feel the relief. As soon as he tells her how bad she is, how stupid or unfair she is, that poison he has inside him is transferred to her wife.
He keeps talking and talking until she gets his attention. The wife finally reacts and gets mad and he feels better. But now the poison is going through her, and she has to get even. She has to hook his attention and release her poison, but now is not just his poison, it is his and her poison, if you look to this interaction you see that they are playing with each other wounds, like ping pong with emotional poison. The emotional poison keeps growing until one day one of them is going to explode. This is how human beings relate to each others. They live in a domesticated world, where the emotions are programmed to work in a controlled environment.
Has been long time since I cry over a story in a book, but this love story is so strong, it cuts deep in my emotions. As I read the lines in the book, I relied to the story, I saw myself inside those emotions.
How can I live somebody else story and feel the same way? The same wounds, the same memories. The feeling it is awful strange but that’s how I remember. We are just part of the same hologram, only in a smallest version.
The vibration is interlaced like in a spider web, the same structure, fragile, and at the same time so powerful strong that pulls you inside.
I was experiencing the emotions that were transmitted to me in the story. The sensation felt so real, the pain, and the love felt so real that shook my soul.
The excerpts of this story are part of “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Man Who didn’t believe in Love.
Its a parabola style the same used by Jesus used to reprimand, congratulate or simply to teach his followers some lessons of life.
This man did not believe in love, he will preach in seminars, write books about his theories about love, he will say that love was just an emotional addiction of control for people using this emotion just to keep the hook on the targeted people. According to him en every relationship one part or it is the one “giving” love and other receiving, when the receiving part got out of line, the giving part will stop the supply to force the receiving part to comply then just then the giving part will keep giving “love” or a fix. One day he was walking in the park and saw a women crying, and he felt the necessity to approach and ask her why she was crying, she opens up to him and told him how she has been married for 20 years, and how she was taking care of the house, the kids and her husband, and even thought one day his husband start treating bad and telling how stupid, and ugly she was, until they divorced, she say that life was unfair, This man told her all about his theory, and how love did not exist and how he has live happy without “love”, they keep talking, and they stay as friends, they will go to eat together, to the movies and have become inseparable, the years pass and they were the best friend, they even become intimates, but they never talk about love. One day he was away for a conference and he felt lonely, he was missing her company, when he come back he told her that he miss her a lot when they were not together, that maybe he was in love, the women say that she has thought the same but she kept it for herself because she respected his view on love matters.
One day he start thinking on her, and was looking at a star, a beautiful star that he wanted to share that moment with her, he wished so hard that the star came to his hand, he run to give the star to her, when she was about to hold the star she doubt for a moment of his feelings and the star went crushing to the floor, for a moment they start looking each other startled not knowing how to react. At the end the relationship ended and they knew why, putting their happiness in the hands of their partner is not the way love works.
When you make yourself to believe that the happiness of your partner depends on you, it is when you place yourselves in a dream, a dream that is hard to fulfill because is not real. Because the happiness is inside you and you give happiness, and in return you get happiness. You can’t live waiting to get happiness it won’t happen, wake up from the dream and accept that you can’t get what you can’t give.
You can’t live waiting to get happiness it won’t happen, wake up from the dream and accept that you can’t get what you can’t give.
So stop blaming your partner for your unhappiness.
When you do something, anything to try to please your partner, you do out of fear, you want your partner to like you and if he/she doesn’t feel pleased you feel hurt, you feel that is unfair, so your fears grow, you feel insecured and unhappy.
Remember, whatever you do, do it out of love expecting nothing, because love is an unselfish act, love does not want anything in return, love only gives. If you only give without expecting anything, there won’t be any disappointments, there will be no pain, only rewards.
I used so many times the expression; “I Love you so much that it hurts” just now I see clearly, that it was not an expression of love but an expression of fear. To feel un-loved, not to get the same intensity of my emotion in return. I was pitying myself asking for as much love as I was giving. I was living in a dream, an unfulfilled dream…Now I know.
I remember long ago telling myself that I was so happy that it seems unreal, one of those moments you say, “Too good to be true”, well that expression is true most of the times, and unfortunately for me it was. I have healed my wounds, now I am able to speak of my emotions. It was hard but necessary. It is the only way to free yourself of your emotional baggage, your painful baggage.
Many times you say to
yourself, and sometimes in confidence to friends, that love is painful, and unfair and you cling to that existence believing that things will go better if you just stay a little longer, but you end up creating more chaos in your life and in the life of your partner, and hate starts to grow to the point that is impossible the existence together.
Anything you say or do is criticized and the same goes with your partner anything that he/she says receive an unwelcome response, it won’t get better believe me, not until you both realize that you are hurting each other in this ping pong of emotional pain that we subject ourselves. It seems as we enjoy the pain, the discomfort is so great that you get uncomfortably numb. You keep pushing your emotional strength, it is hard to brake lose. I’ve been there, I have tasted the upsetting experiences that a bad relationship gives, and does not matter how many years you has been in the web, does not matter how much you think you know your partner, once you fall in that hole, it is like trying to get out of a bottle that is clear and you can see the outside, but your life slips back in.
Everything will be OK or contained for a lack of a better word, if only this emotional war that you are waging is in between two people, but is not the case. In this plane of existence that we live in, we all are bonded by this invisible web of frequencies, that affect everything and everyone around us, specially if you have children, they will receive your negative emotions, even if they pretend not to be affected, they do, and you have to be aware that their reality and yours are part of the same hologram.
Going throughout the years of self inflicted wounds, sounds unimaginable, but in the majority of the relationships is the case. When you know that you are living in this unhealthy relationship, why not to get out, we keep inventing excuses to stay. We keep telling ourselves that tomorrow the situation will change, he will change, he is just kidding when he hurts you, when he insult you, you always forgive him, you cry and just that release of energy makes you feel better, at least for the moment, but in reality you keep growing hate inside yourself, you kid yourself when you stay and pretend nothing happened, you are a time bomb ready to explode.
When you know that you are living in this unhealthy relationship, why not to get out, we keep inventing excuses to stay. We keep telling ourselves that tomorrow the situation will change, he will change, he is just kidding when he hurts you, when he insult you, you always forgive him, you cry and just that release of energy makes you feel better, at least for the moment, but in reality you keep growing hate inside yourself, you kid yourself when you stay and pretend nothing happened, you are a time bomb ready to explode.
Why we do it? Do we like to be insulted? Do we enjoy being step on it, we might say we do it for our kids, or we don’t have a place to go, but none of these reasons are enough valid to go throught hell. Very importantly to understand that we are exposing our kids to unnecessary emotional damage. They end up being the victims of our lack of love, and insufficient and mutual disrespect. We might not see inmediately, but when they grow up and enter in a relationship on their own, they will be unconsciously fighting the demons that we are planting in them, not knowing how to react in situations where their parents acted so immaturely.
Is it some love that we try to save out of the ashes? or is the fear to be alone? What is it for you?
Maybe you still believe that you love your partner, for a moment you think that he/she still loves you, you feel insecure again, the fear to loose what you have, but then you must think, what do you have? when you live in an unstable situation, hanging in a web thin and fragile, you have to accept the reality, you have to wake up from the dream that is so lucid that can become a nightmare.
There is so much that a spirit can take before is shattered, you have to follow your inner instinct and make your choice, remember the choices, when follow the instinctive inner you, It will be a right choice, if you start making logical scenarios, then most probably your choice will not have a very happy ending.
Clear your emotional clatter and make your move, remember that life is unfair only because you feed your fear before you feed your love. So get rid of the fear and love you, love you first, then only you will know if you are loved or if you just live in a dream feed by fear.
Some say, that “if there is no pain, there is not love”, I don’t think so.
I still want to feel the emotional discharged of love, where there’s no pain, no tomorrow, only today.
I always dream into finding my soul mate, that love that will make me forget the nightmares of my past.
Always hoping to find that special moment and I can grab and not let it go.
It is never too late to find love. When it comes knocking your door, be ready to open, because it never rings twice.
Let yourself be taken for a ride, an experience that is soft, romantic, and easy to navigate, without drama. Where everything evolves in a very simple way. Where a simple eye sight, or a glimpse that can make you feel loved and dissipated of all congestion and uncertaintly, where there is no clatter or clouds in the horizon line.
Let yourself feel the soft essence of love, let it touches you with the breeze of a fresh morning that will feels like glorious morning, shining with light. Do not think twice, seize the moment.
Make your relation relaxed and beautiful, not planing for tomorrow, living on the present as the most precious gift from God.
Make your relation relaxed and beautiful, not planing for tomorrow, living on the present as the most precious gift from God.
No one can assure you that you will have a better tomorrow, If you can not enjoy the present day, how can you expect a tomorrow?
Make your day as romantic as the first date, it could be the day to remember.
Do not shed tears for the unknown that is not in balance with your life, as it does not exist yet, only today counts, do not make it a burden that tears you down with unnecessary desperation that could not even come as a reality.
Cherish today as the last day of your life. Your love is precious, your life is precious. Make today to be a memorable day, the best day of your life.
Money and Business
“I wrote this piece more than 2 years ago, regarding the crisis that the world is facing, and seems that the revolutions that we just witnessed were part of common sense prediction that I saw 2 years ago.” April 12, 2011
Are we going to hit bottom soon?, that is a question that people ask themselves, but is not a necessary scenario to get out of this mess that we all helped to create.
I do worry that it will degenerate to a more violent social crisis. The his-story book talks about social unrest, the French Revolution, The Mexican Revolution and the Russian Revolution are the best examples of social-economic crisis at least widely publicized in “History Books”, but of course there were other conflicts in every corner of the earth just not known.
But this time the crisis was premeditated long before the 1990, when the coms start raising, and falling in the same decade. The government let big corporation unrestrained, unregulated and free to predate the consumer.
So If you want to save your sheep you don’t leave them tied up in a pole, when you know there 50 packs of wolfs roaming in the vicinity, do you?(They are close to 50 corporation running this world)
All boil down to common sense, there is nothing “We the people” can not do to undo the mess, the big corporations if they want to rein in a more sane and healthy society, where they can show they’re the boss, they have to change their currentl behavior, if up to them to clean the mess, because we all know, well at least I know, that the “government”, is just a branch for these big corporations.
This branch maintains “public relations”, “security”,”network vigilance”,landscape maintenance and some other basic activities, like espionage, free technology, where a huge net of Universities are working on research in behave of the corporations, that is paid by “We the people”, but R&D will end up in the hands of the corporations, holding the patent for the R&D. You know all this activities that the “Government does is nothing more that public relations, I don’t see it any other way.
Well any way, if the big corporations want a the consumer to keep filling their packets, they need to fix this mess, which was created globally, because they planned all this about 100 years ago, they staged the depression to gain control of local governments, this is what you know as depression of 1930’s, which by the way was global, but deployed by regions or countries, with some help with local arms conflicts ) and they come out ahead, wealthy, strong, and with strategic man in the various governments of the world, and as we know, everything evolve in this planet, even Greed, so these man behind the stage wanted more, and they got it, now they are the government.
So as you see, presidents won’t do much unless they are part of the gang.
I don’t want to sound pessimism but I have to sound realistic, maybe my fellow citizens of the earth, you could help yourself out of this crisis unharmed, we all got comfortable at the beginning with services,like loans, credit cards and we end up uncomfortably numb so to speak, so please help us all, stop being part of their monopoly game, start buying again at you pops and moms stores, banter as much as you can, the old way of exchange of good and services, plant your own vegetables if you can if you have a patio, or do it in pots, save the seeds of anything that falls in your hands, can be apples any fruit, stop using credit cards as much as possible, help your neighbors, wake up earlier and breath deeply, start cleaning your lungs(smoking), start clearing your mind, shake out the negativity out of your body. And maybe our destiny will be in our hands again. Sound hard of course, it is, but is impossible if we don’t even try.
To all my Brothers and Sisters- And The Truth Shall Set you Free
Posted on March 14, 2009 by Marivel Guzman
The light is shinning in my face, I was blind but now I can see, I feel the urgency to tell you how much I love everybody in this earth.
I love my brothers animals, my sisters plants, and brothers rocks, and sisters waters.
I love you the same way I love me.My ideal of love is more than just an isolated sentiment reciprocated.
My love is a great energy that moves with me, and within the world that I want to live IN.
I am very sad that I have not been able to accomplish more sooner my task. It is monumental, but one soul at the time.
I am ashamed, I’m sorry brothers and sisters, I got selfishly busy raising my family, but I am ready now to help.
I worry for everybody in this earth, I feel pain for Mother Earth and all her creatures and vegetation. War is a terrible cancer that have infected our world. Why can not we live in peace? We born free.
I can hear the cry of the mountains, of the water, the oceans and her guardians, The Whales and the Dolphins. The continuous destruction of our environment it should be a priority for all of us. We can not be expectators of the destruction of our world.
Why nobody is worry for the depletion of the water in our rivers, the constructions of dams in the last 100 years had completely destroyed the ability of earth to richly recycle the minerals and nutrients that suppose to run around earth freely. Dams are destroying Earth. Staying Alive by Vandana Shiva“Over-exploitation for a few decades or even a few years can destroy sources that have supported life over centuries.Violence to the water cycle is probably the worst but most invisible form of violence because it simultaneously threatens the survival of all.”
The Whales have a story to tell, I’ve had dream their plight. We have to stop killing them to help them because their journey is not over yet, the dolphins also are in the middle with unfinished business. Do you think that the curiosity that science have to discern the songs of the whales and dolphin is just coincidence? I don’t think so, is more than just curiosity.”The wildlife of the north Pacific has been devastated by a remarkable 50-year chain reaction set off by commercial whaling, scientists claimed yesterday. Numbers of sea lions, sea otters and several species of seals have crashed in recent years, because of the mass slaughter of more than 500,000 whales in the Pacific between 1949 and 1969, the researchers believe.” Slaughter of great whales leads to ecosystem decline – CYBER DIVER News Network
by MICHAEL McCARTHYDo Whales only serve the marine life? …..
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful,
committed citizens can change the world.
Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
— Margaret Meade
What You Can Do
A link to the Natural Resources Defense Council article on LFA sonar has a pre-written e-mail note that can be sent to Acting Navy Secretary Pirie (this was probably before Pres. Bush appointed the new Secretary). Though the effect of such an e-mail is surely negligible, there’s the slightest possibility that by monitoring the numbers of individual e-mails they get, the Navy will at least know people are paying attention and won’t let them easily get away with doing this under-the-table, so to speak.
Our brown brothers, the native of the lands, the wise men, they have the secret for the future and the past, they know it can’t be written down, because the written word is manipulated, they have done well in passing along the secret to the children with their ceremonies full of visions.The Hopi ProphesyThe war will be “a spiritual conflict with material matters. Material matters will be destroyed by spiritual beings who will remain to create one world and one nation under one power, that of the Creator.”
The Emergence to the future Fifth World has begun. It is being made by the humble people of little nations, tribes, and racial minorities. “You can read this in the earth itself. Plant forms from previous worlds are beginning to spring up as seeds [as described in SW-II, Effects and Coming Events # 1]. This could start a new study of botany if people were wise enough to read them. The same kinds of seeds are being planted in the sky as stars. The same kinds of seeds are being planted in our hearts. All these are the same, depending how you look at them. That is what makes the Emergence to the next, Fifth World.
“Follow your path, my child,
Follow your path, my child, and you will become a nation.”
Song sung by survivors of the Wounded Knee Massacre in 1890.
Lakota People-First Nations
“We were hunted like animals by those that lacked the knowledge and reason to understand the greatness that they had stumbled upon. At the point of contact, there were millions of our people all across turtle island with thriving metropolises. By the time the Invading Europeans were done satisfying their lust for blood and death there were only a couple of million at best among ruins of our cities. Although we may be able to forgive let us never forget. Let us reclaim what is ours…our land.”The Massacre of Wounded Knee
My stars brothers and sister know that truth to a certain degree, but all they can do is be spectators, they can not intervene in the earth’s affairs, but they can advise if ask. Remember they are far advance than we are, but they are not superheros.
All this words might sound crazy for many people, but the people that is already awake understand, they know what I am talking about. At least they have a better idea, they are open minded and if they keep looking a complete understanding will be soon.
You will very soon, don’t get discourage with words that now you don’t’ understand, they will be clear like water in the river. If you are reading this words is a reason for that. Remember there are no coincidences, everything happen for a reason. Keep looking you are near.
The stars have a story to tell also, for the ones that know how to read them, the secret was reveled long ago.
The Vatican Observatory is one of the oldest astronomical research institutions in the world. It has its headquarters at the papal summer cg-cirilliW2residence in Castel Gandolfo, Italy, outside Rome.
Astrology is not a hobby is a science well based, the oldest of all, as Old as “time”. Why do you think the “Bible” says don not study the stars, don’t believe in mediums or sorceress…. Why the Vatican has the oldest Observatory in the World?..Vatican Inc. The City of the Pope, the richest man on earth….knows why? you should also.
Remember Creation and Evolution go hand with hand, very soon you will have the revelation of the truth.
The truth that can not be hidden anymore.
In his 1990 book Astrology, the Evidence of Science, Dr. Percy Seymour propounded a new theory on the ancient science of astrology. His scientific credentials are impressive. Seymour holds a doctoral degree in astrophysics, was senior lecturer at the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, England, the principal lecturer on astronomy at Plymouth Polytechnic Institute and director of its planetarium. Seymour himself looked askance at astrology until 1984 when a BBC crew interviewed him briefly on his opinion of astrology. Why Astrology Works: A Modern Theory on an Ancient Science
Ignorance is not a bliss. But a con phrase to make the ignorant person comfortable in their dark side, without asking himself questions that answers could be uncomfortable to face.
There we have our leaders or better say, the one that position themselves as pawns of the dark powers to keep you without rebelling against the status quo that is not a beautiful site for you but you are kept in that dark corner, without you realizing. Why? “they” have investing enormous resources and energy in keeping you “blind”? they have used any disposable means for their purpose. At the beginning you did not raise your voice and they were fine with that, you were busy working and surviving, but evolution is irremediably necessary, and we evolved, physically and mentally and we started seeing the light on the other side. So did they. And we become a nuisance and they started their campaign to apace us.
Force against us was used but they realized that is easy to keep us busy and ignorant, so they started another methods to control us.
They have run few Hoax against humanity and they were very successful in that, psychological control only work in some not everybody is easy pray, but we are too many and they have to take extreme measures without raising a flag. So they started poising our waters.
Fluoride is poison..you know, and the sun is not your enemy..” the solar filters and Sun Glasses” are, they interfere with the pineal gland and the retina to absorb the mighty sun’s rays which will feed your brain. “Pineal Gland” “Third Eye”..
Chem trails are being used by Pharmaceuticals Companies with the government blessing to sell the hoax of “Flu Shot”
“Every aspect of our physical environment is now being manipulated for war games. Discolored skies are continuously polluted by jets spraying chemical aerosols. Bizarre and unpredictable weather is often military-made. Electromagnetic abnormalities — including artificial lightning — are generated by HAARP-like installations in sundry places. People are becoming increasingly ill and immune-compromised from such ecological tampering. ”
Chem Trails are being used by Monsanto to spread the earth with chemicals that modify the DNA of the plants, so they can sell their products. Round Up,Fertilizers,Insecticides,Modified Seeds,Bactericides and some other 200 more products around the world.
Chem Trails are being used by the Military to conduct field operations in third world countries. “To ignore is to pretend that the DOD(Department of Defense) would never test its chemical and biological weapons on unsuspecting people. Most people living on earth want only life, liberty, peace and the pursuit of happiness. In grisly contrast, America’s military-industrial complex harbors an introverted and pathological fixation with war games and death technology”. By Amy Worthington
Chem Trails are being used by the NOAA-National oceanic And Admospheric Administration to control the Weather.
Chem Trails are being used by the the Department of Defense as Weather Weapon Defense-Offense System, with the help of HAARP.
There are so many questions that have comes to the surface lately that they can not seems to explain, why they make obligation the shots, isn’t we are inoculate when our mother gives us the first colostrum..It is the obligation of our governments to keep us safe, healthy, happy and in peace.
Why there is so much chaos in the world, and yet there is so much control but not of the malignancies that our world suffer.
Why there are so many wars and regional conflicts and yet there is so much control? Why there is tremendous advances in science in the last 50 years and yet we are not healthy….Do you ever wonder why?
Why there is so much money invested in War Technology and yet there is so much control and they can not control violence? Do they push us for violence and then they try to stop us.
Do they get us sick and then they try to cure us?,
Why? there are so many questions than can not be sincerely answer by our leaders?…Do you ever wonder why? of so many things, that for a compassionate being is simple, yet for our leaders is a big deal..Like…
Why there are so many homeless in United States? being United States one of the riches countries in the world?…..
Why there are so many sick people? when we in US have the best hospitals in the world?…..Do you ever ask yourself these questions?…
I always have, except that lately I m demanding answers and I try to raise awareness for all the people to demand the answers and band together with others like me that have been asking these for long time.
this is some of the issues that we need to let the people know.
Revolution is roaming, is time to awake. The Revolution of truth is near, open your door when comes knocking to your door,be ready.
We need to help ourselves, nobody have the obligation, is our Earth.
Ask and will be given
Peace and Love for All
Love be with you and around you
Akashma
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